Unto the Gory of God!

A phone call...

... a trip to the hospital...

... tubes ... IVs ... prayers ...

"Joy runs deeper than despair." Corrie Ten Boom (A concentration camp survivor)

“See it is I who have created the smith who blows the fire of coals,
And produces a weapon fit for its purpose.” Isaiah 54:16

Most of you probably already know the news that my family received a week and a half ago.

My sister was diagnosed with cancer. She's only 23.

There is a 7 cm tumor located at the EG junction. The surgical procedure to remove this is very difficult and will take several hours. However, before that, the medical personnel have said that she will start chemotherapy and radiation therapy for several weeks before hand to destroy any micro cells that have spread to other areas.

She went to the hospital Friday and was in MICU for 5 days. Up until the Wednesday when they moved her out of MICU, I thought that we were going to lose her. Finally, after receiving the results of the PET scan and the biopsy, they determined that it was stage 3 and could hopefully be controlled with the chemo and radiation therapy and then surgery. It was a ray hope and an answer to prayer.

But if any of you have a family member who has gone through this, you know that it is almost easier to face death with peace, than to face the months of pain. Chemo and radiation wreak havoc on the body.

One night while we were at the hospital, I was sitting on the side of the bed with my arms wrapped around my sister and she was leaning back against me while I held her. Caitlin, who has always been able to out-muscle me in most physical tasks, leaned weakly against me, absolutely exhausted from a few short walks down the hallway. She was still in some pain from the Friday morning when they did laproscopic (sp?) surgery and the insertion of a feeding tube and port. Before we left that night, my mom, dad, brother, and I sang a hymn while we sat around her... It is so hard to watch someone you love hurt... but I know that this sickness is “not unto death.”

This is something my dad shared with me one morning before we left the house for the day: When Jesus heard about Lazarus he said, “This illness does not lead to death; rather it is for God’s glory, so that the Son of God may be glorified though it.”

That doesn’t mean that God caused this, nor does it mean that He doesn’t want healing. It is always God’s will to heal and I know that complete healing will come at some point, whether it is here on this earth or at the resurrection. But I know that this illness is not unto the death because we have already seen two miracles in the first week that have saved her life. However, if we, my family, chose to submit to the “Refiner’s fire,” then we will bring glory to God through our lives.

Comfort zones are places we all like to be, but we can all remember scenarios when we have been out of our comfort zones, either by choice, or by necessity. Sometimes I look back on my life and I see the divorce, the abuse, emotional struggles and spiritual questions that I have had, and other things, …. then this …. and I feel like the majority of my life has been lived outside of my “comfort zone” in the fiery trails of this world. . . But I wouldn’t choose to be anywhere else. Each breaking brings me nearer to the truth of the depths of God. I know my Father in heaven, and through these trials I have learned to trust Him. I can say, “though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” These trials, that seem to stretch me to my limits, have almost become the most comfortable place to be because I know that I’m in the palm of God’s hand, and He’s going to see me through. Though the pain may not be lessened, there is the hope of clear skies after the storm rolls away.

Through this, God is bringing relational healing to my family. We are pulling together to support my sister.

I hope that each of you will choose to trust God in the pain that you face and in the storms that you go through. May your trials become your comfort zones because you rest in the Gentle Hand of the LORD.

A Godly wife...

Dear Friends,

(This is primarily intended for my sisters in Christ) : D

Last evening I went to the Library to attempt to work on a few papers, however, I ended up not working on any of them but writing down some thoughts that God shared with me. So I wanted to share them with you too.


Recently I have been thinking about relationships. More specifically about marriage and my inadequate knowledge. I've been wondering how I can effectively prepare for it and become the type of Godly wife that I have been privileged to witness in the marriage of a few couples I know. Then last evening God brought Isaiah 54 to mind, which says that the Lord is your '"Maker and your Husband." (This is a very good chapter!)


These are the thoughts that He proceeded to give me on how I can "practice" for marriage and also completely cement my relationship with Him; after all, who knows if the world will last long enough for that anyway. : )

How to be a good wife (to God)


1. Appearance: Take care in my appearance so that I reflect His care of me; I do not want to dishonor/embarrass him by a sloppy or immodest appearance.
2. Quality time: make sure I have my devotional time every morning, and sometimes evenings.
3. Dates: schedule a time every week to go on a date (actually do something and carry on a conversation with God) i.e. look at artwork, take a walk, visit the duck pond, bike ride, fly a kite, etc. Marvel at His creative power!
4. Care for His needs: clean my heart of worldly clutter, make savory self-sacrifices that will be pleasing to Him.
5. Submission: frequently reaffirm my trust in Him as my leader and my decision maker; follow through according to His plan, and listen when he speaks; honor the rules of His "house," (Universe), the ten commandments.
6. Care for the Family: Care for the children of God, my fellow brothers and sisters in the church, for their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs; guide by teaching(charge with truth) and set boundaries.
7. Help-mate: support/partner with Him in His life work— saving souls; ministry together.
8. Intimacy: secret prayer.
9. Care for those outside family unit (unbelievers): love unconditionally, guide by example, provide for physical, emotional, and then spiritual needs.
10. Faithfulness: maintain vibrant, growing relationship; keep my eyes on Him and not on other men.


This is something I'm really excited about! And I can't wait to see the kind of impact it will have on my relationship with God.

I thought it was interesting that He gave me 10. : ) Though I'm sure that here are many other dynamics and aspects of the marriage relationship to which other parallels could be made.

It is my prayer that each of you find your completeness in Him who is you Maker, Father, Savior, Lover, Protector, and Husband. He will never disappoint you, but will "bear you up on wings like eagles." Isaiah 40

Please Make Me Blind

The second hand ticked another 360 degrees as I sat at the desk in the office of the Music department. Mrs. Burrus was occupied at her desk and my mind wondered to the endless possibilities of “what-ifs.”

What if I was in some horrible accident and I lost 95% of my sight to where it was reduced to seeing dim shapes against the fuzzy gray light. Mmmm….that would be tradgic. Would I be able to eat in public without spilling everything? Would I still be able to achieve a college education in this manner? Would my ears compensate? Would my ears compensate?... Then tears sprang to my eyes as the thought presented itself that I would never again see the beautiful faces of those I loved, especially my heart family. . .

How silly; I chided myself for too vivid of an imagination. Then God nudged the thought into my mind, I could teach you to see with your heart.

My heart?

All your prejudices and preconceived conceptions would slip away. You would listen to their voice and see their heart instead of listening to the message of their appearance and shying away from being My hands, feet, and heart to them.

Wow God. I have so much to learn. How often do I only listen to half of what people are saying and miss the deep reverberations of their words.

Please make me blind and open the eyes of my heart.

9 Conspirators and the Innocent

“Do you want to go to Intense with me?” Jonathan asked. “Sure,” I said, “we can meet at 6:50 at the flagpole.

3 hours later.

I was standing, simply waiting and minding my own business, when out of nowhere two desperadoes appeared! Cassia slipped the blindfold around my eyes and Jonathan announced the beginning of our “intense” adventure. I was lead to a car and told to get in. Compliance was a must or else I would suffer the unknown consequences. We drove out of the parking lot on our adventure and circled the roundabout at least two times before driving on over bridges, in and out of parking lots, around culdasacks (sp?), over speed bumps, etc. All the while a musical commentary on where we were going and how it was going to be exciting was being sung to the tunes of “I’m singing in the rain,” “Beauty and the Beast,” “The Phantom of the Opera,” and other such melodies that were quite spontaneous.
After becoming almost sick to my stomach with all of the turns and disorientation, they decided to stop and we each piled out, though I was not so quick because of the sight-prohibiting-device. To my shock and dismay, I was handed over to a campus security officer who twisted my wrist behind my back and proceeded to walk me forward I knew not where! “Cassia,” I called, “are you still there?” Please don’t leave me, I thought to myself.
The cool evening air played with the ends of the pink cloth around my eyes and strands of hair that escaped its grasp. My Birthday was yesterday….where is all this going?...and why didn’t I catch on to the plethora of hints that had preceded this afternoon? Such thoughts skipped through my mind as I tried to think calmly and rationally that this would all work out in the end. (I need to work on spontaneity: )
After coming to a halt an eerie silence followed… the question on my lips halted as Cassia quickly removed the blind fold to my relief and great delight! There before me were some of the most beautiful smiling faces God has created! I was greeted with a chorus of Happy Birthdays and lots of joyful laughter. They had certainly pulled off a successful surprise!
Hugs were given all around, and followed by Jen’s delicious pita-mix, carrots, homemade cake, ice cream, and last but not least, a Mickey-Mouse piñata! Their friendships and sweet company were as delightful as the surprise and another reminder of the love God has for His children.
My heart is full… I am truly blessed!
Thanks to all of you and to God who is our Fortress and the Giver of all blessings!

Passion Play

Passion Play...
This year we are going throught the life of Moses. On Friday night we see the life of Jesus through his eyes as he talks with God from the top of Mount Nebo right before his death. God has really blessed this summer, not only the campers but the staff as well. This is our sixth week, but I'm still not tired of it... I never stop learning.

Mountain Top Experience!

2 weeks ago, Andrew Whitlow, Stephen L., and I went on a hike....
but not just any hike. : ) We climbed Dix mountain: 4,840 ft. in elevation, #6 highest in the High Peaks Region of the Adirondacks, and a 13 mile round trip.
I have never hiked a mountain before... I had no idea what I was getting into.

After a mile and a half, Stephen decided it was his turn to take the rear, so they put me between them and wouldn't let me quit. : ) Things were going quite well until we came to the last mile and a half which were almost straight up! Literally! We where scrambling up rocks and pulling ourselves up by tree roots! At one point I wanted to give up and let them go on ahead so that they wouldn't loose time (they were going to hike to Hughes from the top of Dix), but they wouldn't let me, I was so exasperated that I finally burst out with, "Don't you two ever stop being gentlemen!?" To which they simply laughed and assured me that it was ok and we'd reach the top together. . . and we did.
Looking back I am very thankful for my "stubborn gentlemen," and that I had the exciting experience of climbing a mountain; though I must say that any future endeavors will be more on my level. : )

My two stubborn gentlemen... : )

Creek crossing..... (Andrew doesn't want to get his feet wet... : )

Rare wildlife...

Staff time : )

Alex and his cal zone!
Slaloming...

Last Wednesday we had a staff party where most of of did stuff down at the waterfront and then we all headed up to the cafeteria to make cal zones!